I just saw a hot homeless man
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
