Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
