So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
