Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
