I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
