Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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