VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My cat gives me a boner
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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