dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
