I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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