We won't sleep together?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
