I wannas sexs uuuuu
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
