im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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