Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
