Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Did you just see the Batmobile???
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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