omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
