I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
