:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she smelled like a LAN party
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
