we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
