I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
