I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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