After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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