First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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