I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
