I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
