Acid is not a monday night drug
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
