Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
