he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
