I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
