dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
