I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dicks are not precious.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
