It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
