everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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