i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
