Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
