the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
