So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
