Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
