I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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