I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
