Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
