he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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