He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize