I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Betty ford says i'm here all night
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
