You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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