dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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