So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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