I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
