I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
