This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
