i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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