Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize