How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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