tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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