Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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