Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
