omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize