i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
