never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
