You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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