got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize